Even when customers do come in, they find the store has changed. "It wasn't a typical botanica. It was a religious supply store. We had Islamic, Catholic, Judaic, Buddhist, Kabbalah, Wicca products," said Morales, recalling her store in its glory days. Now she is unable to afford the variety of stock she once carried. She also cannot afford to pay her staff. Last year, Morales had six full-time and part-time workers. Since the move, she has had to lay off all her full-time employees.
Now Morales lives off her credit cards, using one card to pay off the minimum on others. Pawning jewelry, cutting back on her son’s music lessons, clipping coupons and rationing food are some measures she has taken to cope. Still, facing reality hurts.
“The dream was to come to this country, work as hard as you can to pave the way for your children,” said Maisha Morales, 35, reflecting on the story of her paternal grandparents who migrated to New York and successfully opened a restaurant in the 1950s.
“The American dream was that you have the opportunity to work hard and you can be whatever you wanted to be,” said Morales. She is uncertain of the current economic times where it's harder for small business owners like herself to make it.
“It gets discouraging at times,” she said. “I wonder what happened to the American dream that my grandparents had?”
"It's just killing me," she said. "It's got me so depressed. It affects your health." Morales suffers from stomach pains, which she believes are due to ulcers, but she has put off visiting a doctor because she lacks medical insurance. She is also experiencing migraines, weight gain and battles depression. Yet Morales tries to keeps up a brave face for her son, Anthony. "I'll walk around with a smile, he'll go to bed and I'll cry," she said.
For the past few months Morales has been interviewing for jobs but she has yet to get an offer. In the meantime, she and other displaced small business owners are vigorously working with FUREE to pressure the city to cover their relocation costs. Despite her advocacy, she worries.
"It's been a year and it's not getting any better, especially since the economy is the way it is," she said, fearing she has no choice but to shut down.
Tips from Joe Scott, “Joe The Reader," spiritual guide and counselor at Gallery Religious Supplies:
1.) Go over what you have, and use these things to the best of your ability until something comes along that’s better. Work with what resources you have.
2.) Distinguish between necessities and wants. You need a telephone, for example, but you don’t need a major telephone bill.
3.) No big spending. Instead of buying the most expensive things, stick with what is functional.
4.) Always keep your head up, keep a prayer, put your best foot forward and smile. Take the good times with the bad.
